Im sorry you're all banged up, bud, i hope you heal up as quickly as the universe will allow <3
Oof this was something I needed to read today though! I have been down on myself for days because last thursday i cut the absolute heck out of my finger while making dinner and now I can't lift weights until it heals and lifting weights is my emotional support defense against the horrors activity these days and i feel like a big dope about the whole situation. But anyway. You're obviously not a dope, and Socks might be a bit of a dope just on account of being a cat but not because he hurt himself a couple times. Maybe I'm not that big of a dope either :)
Great writing as always 💛 I feel you on the fall risk thing.
An idea to tuck into your back pocket for later: a few years back I realized a lot of my brain space was being taken up in my head by “don’t fall don’t fall be careful” all the time. I hadn’t really articulated the fear of falling to anyone (providers included) because I had adapted to my new normal. Like you said, we can’t jump up quickly, things like that. But one day I had a lightbulb moment of realizing, oh this has crossed a line and I am afraid of falling far too often for what is appropriate, so I asked my PCP for a referral to OT. There are even in-home OTs so you don’t have to spend energy leaving the house. I’m so glad looking back for whatever triggered my lightbulb moment, since it has helped me so much with feeling safer and more confident. And I want you to know, you have this option if and whenever you want it, if as you are recovering you realize your confidence with fighting gravity is a bit shaken. Just wanted to share 🥄
I can totally relate to the "fall risk" label. Have dysautonomia, have fainted twice this year. One led to a bump (and a stitch) on the back of my head (in my gravel driveway). The other while I was sitting on my couch. Two visits to the ER. Two "Fall Risk" signs in my cubby (no bands on my risk, if I remember correctly). Feeling much older than my age (67) when dizziness occurs. Remembering the compression socks, adding more salt to foods, etc.--not etched in my working memory just yet (recent ADHD diagnosis, too). Missing life in NYC while reading your story. And particularly missing our 17 year old tuxedo cat, Teddy, who passed recently. There is no better solace than having a cat on one's lap. I hope yours is with you for a very long time.
Solidarity, fellow POTSie! I stupidly decided I would hang art in the walls today—while home alone. Did I mention the art was in a stairwell? So I… went up and down stairs, climbed on a step stool, and held things above my head. I did NOT pass out but I am now completely horizontal, completely overheated, and very dizzy. 🥴
My brain is always like “it’ll be fine, it’ll just take two minutes!” And my body is like “lol you thought”
Since LC/POTS, I have fallen twice going UP concrete steps (not fun) and once in my house when I got up off the couch and immediately teetered over onto an ottoman with a steel tray containing items necessary to have near. You’ve never seen the corner of a small tissue box do so much damage 😣.
I hate this for you. But I love your writing, your cat, and your spouse. And did anyone in NYC come to your aid on that sidewalk?
I love the thought of you and Socks bonding over being wobbly and stubborn and I love that you’ve made your home a safe and accessible space for him. We adopted a pair of feral siblings that were born in our front yard and they too live like gods now. And the big tabby boy has been sitting with me during a particularly rough ME/CFS crash these past two weeks which has really helped me emotionally. I hope your injuries heal soon 💜
Hate this for you, love this essay. As a fellow tough guy fall risk combo, I really get this. Last time I was in the ER they put a fall risk bracelet on both of my arms and my ego is still bruised 😅
Your spouse is a good one, and so are you. And so is your marvelous cat! Thank you for all of this. It is REAL frustrating being called ... er, or being ... a "fall risk." Gets at the core of interdependence and identity both, no? Excellent piece. Appreciate it.
Im sorry you're all banged up, bud, i hope you heal up as quickly as the universe will allow <3
Oof this was something I needed to read today though! I have been down on myself for days because last thursday i cut the absolute heck out of my finger while making dinner and now I can't lift weights until it heals and lifting weights is my emotional support defense against the horrors activity these days and i feel like a big dope about the whole situation. But anyway. You're obviously not a dope, and Socks might be a bit of a dope just on account of being a cat but not because he hurt himself a couple times. Maybe I'm not that big of a dope either :)
Great writing as always 💛 I feel you on the fall risk thing.
An idea to tuck into your back pocket for later: a few years back I realized a lot of my brain space was being taken up in my head by “don’t fall don’t fall be careful” all the time. I hadn’t really articulated the fear of falling to anyone (providers included) because I had adapted to my new normal. Like you said, we can’t jump up quickly, things like that. But one day I had a lightbulb moment of realizing, oh this has crossed a line and I am afraid of falling far too often for what is appropriate, so I asked my PCP for a referral to OT. There are even in-home OTs so you don’t have to spend energy leaving the house. I’m so glad looking back for whatever triggered my lightbulb moment, since it has helped me so much with feeling safer and more confident. And I want you to know, you have this option if and whenever you want it, if as you are recovering you realize your confidence with fighting gravity is a bit shaken. Just wanted to share 🥄
I can totally relate to the "fall risk" label. Have dysautonomia, have fainted twice this year. One led to a bump (and a stitch) on the back of my head (in my gravel driveway). The other while I was sitting on my couch. Two visits to the ER. Two "Fall Risk" signs in my cubby (no bands on my risk, if I remember correctly). Feeling much older than my age (67) when dizziness occurs. Remembering the compression socks, adding more salt to foods, etc.--not etched in my working memory just yet (recent ADHD diagnosis, too). Missing life in NYC while reading your story. And particularly missing our 17 year old tuxedo cat, Teddy, who passed recently. There is no better solace than having a cat on one's lap. I hope yours is with you for a very long time.
My deepest condolences ❤️
Solidarity, fellow POTSie! I stupidly decided I would hang art in the walls today—while home alone. Did I mention the art was in a stairwell? So I… went up and down stairs, climbed on a step stool, and held things above my head. I did NOT pass out but I am now completely horizontal, completely overheated, and very dizzy. 🥴
My brain is always like “it’ll be fine, it’ll just take two minutes!” And my body is like “lol you thought”
Thank you for sharing your story of resistant vulnerability.
😭😭😭
Since LC/POTS, I have fallen twice going UP concrete steps (not fun) and once in my house when I got up off the couch and immediately teetered over onto an ottoman with a steel tray containing items necessary to have near. You’ve never seen the corner of a small tissue box do so much damage 😣.
I hate this for you. But I love your writing, your cat, and your spouse. And did anyone in NYC come to your aid on that sidewalk?
I love the thought of you and Socks bonding over being wobbly and stubborn and I love that you’ve made your home a safe and accessible space for him. We adopted a pair of feral siblings that were born in our front yard and they too live like gods now. And the big tabby boy has been sitting with me during a particularly rough ME/CFS crash these past two weeks which has really helped me emotionally. I hope your injuries heal soon 💜
Oh I feel all of this so hard!! I'm so sorry you had that scary moment, and I hope they are few and far between going forward <3
Hate this for you, love this essay. As a fellow tough guy fall risk combo, I really get this. Last time I was in the ER they put a fall risk bracelet on both of my arms and my ego is still bruised 😅
Your spouse is a good one, and so are you. And so is your marvelous cat! Thank you for all of this. It is REAL frustrating being called ... er, or being ... a "fall risk." Gets at the core of interdependence and identity both, no? Excellent piece. Appreciate it.